Relationship myths

I'm no Dr Phil when it comes to relationships, but a few weeks ago, I read a blog post about bad relationships by Emma Chow from 96.1 on Popsugar that deeply resonated with me. As I read each point, I thought "wow that's sooooo true, feeling her sooo hard right now." I thought I would do something similar, but more on myths rather than lessons I've learnt. Can't roast anyone too badly on here haha.



The friendzone.

I've lost count of how many times I've written about this or told people it's not real. But it really isn't. I've had people ask me "weren't you worried that he would never see you as more than a friend? I would never date someone who's a friend" and it shocked me. If you only consider people you just meet, how do you know that the interest (from either side) isn't purely based on looks? Some people don't want others to know their flaws, but you know what's even better than people not knowing your flaws? People knowing your flaws and still accepting you. That's when you know it's real. You can't hide forever LOL. People date friends, and the truth is, if a friend wouldn't date you, it's because they're not attracted to you. It's not "because you're a friend."


Opposites attract.

Initially, this could be true. However, if/once the infatuation dies down (which it probably will,) what are you going to do? If you want to go out to parties and he wants to stay at home playing videogames, would you still go? If you hate mainstream music but she loves Taylor Swift then what songs are you gonna sing along to on your long drives? Would you feel awkward about spending all his money on designer bags he doesn't see the point of? Over time, you'll realise that the list of things you can both enjoy becomes shorter and shorter, and you'll end up relying on your friends and family to stay happy. That's when you know it's time for quits - when you feel happier without them.


They'll change.

If you want someone to change, or if you're having thoughts like "if they ______, then I would be happy" then chances are, they won't change, or even if they do, it won't be as expected. You can't make someone quit smoking. They'll just find ways to do it without you finding out. People only change for themselves. There is nothing wrong with change; personal growth is essential, but it's little things that can end up mattering the most.




by Farzana